November 5, 2012

lol: luke on life

Election Special!

For those of you going to vote tomorrow, don't forget to take into account the October surprise i have in my pants.

There are two very retarded Republicans up for re-election right now. For these purposes we'll call them Akin and Mourdock. I can see how it's easy for the Dem's to spin these two guys' sound bites into evil, but I can't understand what's still so confusing for the voters. Stop trying to let politicians classify rape for you. Legitimate or illegitimate are ancillary rape adjectives. You are either for rape or against rape. Just make a decision. its pretty simple.

I feel like the defensive phrase, "Yeah but you've never had to suck dick for crack before have you?" gets thrown around a lot in movies and polite conversations. I've known a ton of drug dealers and none of them were ever willing to give me any product after I gave them head.

Jermaine Jackson has a son named Jermajesty.

That is all. I like it when Snoop Dogg spells out words in his lyrics. S- to the -n to the d-o- double -g. It makes me feel like I'm in elementary school learning the alphabet and I have the coolest teacher ever.

Democracy is cool. So is the right to vote. Way too many people who vote shouldn't be allowed. Way too many people who don't vote should be forced to. I know a surprising number of educated people who are enthusiastic about voting except that most of the time when they open their mouths its like a piece of stupid just farted in my ear. I also know too many uneducated people who think voting is stupid but have opinions and values I believe in.

Candy corn is kind of a divisive food. Some people really, really like them and that is fucking gross.

Is it bad that I wanna look hot in my coffin? People always look so pale and bloated. I wanna be topless and have them run me through a tanning bed a couple of times before the viewing. And maybe the undertaker can't paint little abs on me and stuff.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

A hearty LOL at that last paragraph. And article pic.