August 3, 2012

pweekly roundtable: chick-fil-a

Periodically the PWeekly panelists will all weigh in on a buzz worthy issue. Together we're better!
The subject: Chick-Fil-A's recent scandal. Annnnnnnd go:

Luke on Life: The following editorial is not necessarily the viewpoint of the curator of this site. I believe he would actually agree with me but he can't hear me talk over the sound of the Glee episode he's currently live tweeting. So the guy who owns Chik-Fil-A and doesn't know how public relations works (or does he?) said this: "We are very much supportive of the family — the biblical definition of the family unit" and this "We are a family-owned business, a family-led business, and we are married to our first wives. We give God thanks for that." Then everyone went bat shit crazy. Which is weird. Because in 2008 some dude named Barack Obama said this “I believe that marriage is the union between a man and a woman. Now, for me as a Christian — for me — for me as a Christian, it is also a sacred union. God’s in the mix.” He also said this: “I believe marriage is between a man and a woman. I am not in favor of gay marriage. But when you start playing around with constitutions, just to prohibit somebody who cares about another person, it just seems to me that’s not what America’s about.” And then we elected him president. The problem is this: Mayors around the country (San Fransisco, Chicago, new York et al) have stated that they will do everything in their power to prohibit Chik-Fil-A-Gay's from opening businesses in their cities. That's called Hitlerism. Not letting someone conduct business in your society because you disagree with them is bad. Real bad. Like what Hitler did to the Jews bad (he did some other questionable stuff to them that was bad also). If you don't like what the Chik-Fil-A president said - and people don't like what he said - then his business will falter on its own. Or not. We can't have politicians picking and choosing who gets to run shop in their jurisdiction based on whether or not they see eye to eye. That's dangerous.

There are more problems. The Chik-Fil-A-dude also donates millions of dollars to organizations that spread hate, particularly with concern to homosexuals, and that is wrong. It is also anti-Christian. And a dick move. He was already doing that though so activists should have already been raising a stink about it. Some were, but not loud enough for the rest of us to hear. Maybe you guys could get together and have a parade or something?

Yes anti-Christian. If you are Christian you follow the teachings of Christ. Not Leviticus, or that shit the sodomites got burned for, or some other crazy passage that your weirdo pastor said the Bible said about gays. The writers of the four synoptic gospels came to Jesus with a problem. There were ten commandments and many parables but they and their listeners were confused as to which was the most important. The golden rule said Jesus. That's the most important. Also Jesus didn't write the bible. He was quoted in it. And he didn't say shit about gays. You're Christians not Bibleians. You can't hate gays and be christian. Word.
Also I voted for Barak Obama, but that guys kind of an asshole. I have no doubt that he's been pro gay this whole time but I also have no doubt that he will do and say whatever it takes to get elected and that's what politicians do. Not leaders. I voted for the latter. Duped again i guess.

The people who came out en mass to support Chik-Fil-A's gay under the guise of this being a free speech issue and not an anti gay issue might have a little ignorant leg to stand on but you're still supporting hatred with the money you give to them.

You know who really gets screwed in this whole deal? The franchisee who opened a Chik-Fil-A, employs workers, and supports people of all sexual desires. I'd hate to be a gay owner of a Chik-Fil-A right now. Sad face.

Do gay people even like fried chicken?

Also what is that married to our first wives comment all about? Creep.

Rachel in the Know: Have any of you ever even eaten at Chick-fil-A?  Like, when is that ever in the running for a bomb place to go when you’re hungry? “So we can either hit up Morton’s, Il Fornaio, or oooh Chick-fil-A” – said no one ever. A bucket of chicken is the last thing I want to eat after 17 tequila sodas. And frankly, if you crave anything other than Vientos then you are racist.

This is not a first amendment issue, people. It’s a twenty-first amendment issue. Last time I checked prohibition was overturned, but Chick-fil-A has clearly chosen to fail its fellow Americans. Where are the fucking vodka sodas, dude? No matter if you’re gay, straight, lesbian, or whatever Luke is, we have the right to consume alcohol with our waffle fries if we want to damnit! And not only do they fail on the liquor front, fast food workers shove their dicks in the barbeque sauce on the regular and I know this to be true. What did you think they meant by “natural flavoring”? Screw them all!

Straight up: It’s a waste of an establishment to invite people in and only offer soft drinks. That goes for you too, Freeport Market. Why the fuck would I ever order an iced tea without vodka? That’s disgusting. 

PWeekly: First amendment issue my ass. I fully support Dan Cathy's right to say whatever he wants (as does the ACLU) -but just because someone can say something doesn't mean one should -- or that said person should be celebrated for doing so, especially when what they're saying is, at its core, promoting a culture of hate against a group of people.

Imagine the vitriol that would exist if the CEO of McDonald’s gave an interview stating “We’re inviting God’s judgment on our nation by condoning marriage amongst blacks and whites,” while at the same time donating millions of dollars to white supremacist organizations. He’d literally (and arguably deservingly) be burned at the stake. So why is it different when it comes to gay people? For some reason, a large population of this country still thinks it is okay to treat gays as not worthy.   

Of course, much of this hate mongering is based in religious folklore, but as Luke on Life pointed out earlier, the Bible demands we do or don’t do a lot of things that we no longer do – like own slaves or eat at Home Town Buffet. Oh, and shout out to Mrs. Powers in 11th grade religion class for the following fact: Jesus himself was never married! Hard to believe a single dude I’d likely be scamming on chicks (or dudes) with at KBar on Friday nights gave a shit about something he never did. 

Alas, this issue is bigger than gay marriage. Chick-Fil-A has donated a shit ton of money to anti-gay groups that work hard to actively deny rights to a minority group in this country. When you buy food from Chick-fil-A, you're basically saying, "Here, take my money and see to it that gay people can’t get married, can be fired simply for their sexuality, and continue to live in a society where they are regularly terrorized, beaten, murdered and driven to suicide – Super size me and I’ll have the honey mustard with that!”

Oh! And hypocracy alert! Aren't these "first amendement" backers the same haters that called for a boycott on JCPenny for featuring Ellen Degeners in its national advertising spots promoting equality? 

Look. I get loose butthole everytime I eat fast food – particularly when it’s of the fried chicken order. Given that, can’t we all just get along? 

Robo: I have been hearing/reading/watching quite a bit about Chik-Fil-A in the news and I really only have one thing to say – who cares if two chicken sandwiches want to get married! The way I understand the story, a Chargrilled Chicken Sandwich was sitting on a hot shelf at a Chik-Fil-A in the Atlanta area. As the Chargrilled Chicken Sandwich sat on the hot shelf, another Chargrilled Chicken Sandwich came sliding down the sandwich slide and the two Chargrilled Chicken Sandwiches were placed in a bag together. The two Chargrilled Chicken Sandwiches were accompanied in the bag by some nuggets and BBQ sauce. While in the bag, the two Chargrilled Chicken Sandwiches fell madly in love with one another, as did the nuggets and sauce. When the owner of Chik-Fil-A (who never really liked Chargrilled Chicken Sandwiches to begin with because his parents were a couple of rednecks who only believed in the misinterpreted teachings of the Spicy Chicken Sandwich Deluxe) found out about the relationships that had started in the bag, he made his anti-Chargrilled Chicken Sandwich beliefs known regarding the Chargrilled Chicken Sandwiches being together, but defended the rights of the nuggets and BBQ sauce to carry on because, in his opinion, they were a better match for one another in the eyes of the Spicy Chicken Sandwich Deluxe. Word got out about the owner’s comments regarding the Chargrilled Chicken Sandwiches and a battle has ensued over the situation at Chik-Fil-A. I think that about sums it up. 

This whole situation presents a dilemma. For one, why would the owner respect the rights of the nuggets and BBQ sauce to be together, but reprove the Chargrilled Chicken Sandwiches, when they both came from the same hot shelf? Also, if the law protects the rights of the nuggets and BBQ sauce to be together, shouldn’t it offer the same protections to the Chargrilled Chicken Sandwiches? Seems to me like they were all made using the same basic recipe, they just came out a little different. As I said in the beginning, who cares if the Chargrilled Chicken Sandwiches want to get married!? It’s not like anyone’s forcing me or my family to eat at Chik-Fil-A. It’s not like the Chargrilled Chicken Sandwiches are showing up on my doorstep or trying to steer me away from BBQ sauce and nuggets. Spicy Chicken Sandwich Deluxe people, the country is in the shitter and all we can focus on is Chargrilled Chicken Sandwiches!? Get better America…get better.

8 comments:

luke said...

which photo is the gayest?

Anonymous said...

This is legit.

Johnny said...

Interesting points. I tend to agree with PWeeku but appreciate that everyone seems so be somewhat on the same page.

Sal said...

You guys really broke this down. I like Luke's biblical quotes - What about the fact that Obama now publicly supports gay marriage?

Casey said...

Exactly why I love this blog.

Anonymous said...

I like the different spins. Good stuff LOL

Billy said...

Annnnnnnnnnd now I'm craving fried chicken. Good stuff here.

luke said...

I think I covered that sal. Obama is an ass.