March 15, 2012

lol: luke on life

Welcome to what US Weekly copied from us: Who Wore it Best? I'm going with the lady wearing the gorgeous locks.

Hey bicycle riders, you can stop it with the hand signals. Nobody knows what they mean. Are you waving at me? Offering me a hand job? I'm pretty sure the old Asian lady that just parked her Civic on you probably thought you just gave her the right of way.

If you think Cantaloupe is better than Honeydew you are wrong. Honeydew in 2012!

What if you really liked this chick you just met, took her out on a couple requisite dates, finally "got her home" and found out upon entry that her vagina was hella cold? Not mean wicked witch of the east cold, but... Like... Keep your veggies crisp cold. She's super attractive, normal in every way, but her vagina is cold. Like 42 degrees. What do you do then?

Cold vaginas.

Why is anything sold over the counter at drug stores offered in regular strength? Are there people besides kids and the elderly that only have half strength pains that aren't hypochondriacs? "This headache isn't that bad, I'll just get the regular strength Excedrin expectorant. I'll leave the maximum strength for someone who really needs it." "My cough is bad, but not that bad. I mean, I'm coughing some gross shit up but, at least its not blood... I'll just get the regular strength." You people are weirdos or all the strengths are the same and they're charging me more for "extra" that isn't doing anything. Either way I'm buying extra strength. This isn't a BDSM cold. I don't want to feel anything!

I feel like I answered all my own questions in that last paragraph. Thanks Luke, good talk.

Remember back in the day when you watched Monday Night Football and they would show you a controversial play before sending you to commercial viewing and let "you make the call," then came back to the game showing what the refs decided? that was the best.



Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

hahaha cold vajayjay

Anonymous said...

First time reader - Loving the site!