May 13, 2011

lol: luke on life

'Tis the season when everyone graduates. Anyone interested in seeing my mom not only receive her long deserved diploma, but also give the valedictorian speech to her fellow graduates would be well served by joining me next Thursday at the Sacramento Memorial Auditorium to see the 2011 Thurgood Marshal graduating class walk across the stage. Congrats mom, you finally did it!

How much does it suck when your significant other wears something you think is just ridiculous but he/she loves it? It is almost as bad as when their besty compliments them on it right in front of you because now its getting put into regular garment rotation.

I'm still not convinced the once popular sitcom Life Goes On ever adequately dealt with America's burgeoning retard strength issue. I realize its a touchy subject but sooner or later we're gonna have to deal with our high schools' most potential bullies.

Who are you people who read a controversial article on some web page and decide "Hey, 6,702 people have commented on this. Might as well add my two cents." No one reads what you write. No one.

Putting a man on the moon is one of the single greatest moments in our worlds history. If for nothing else than the use of that eponymous phrase when speaking to the lazy and the ignorant:

"I'd like an ultimate bacon cheese burger except i want it on sour dough and could i get extra bacon?"

"Uh, it already has eight pieces sir. We can't add more"

"Um, are you aware that we PUT A FUCKING MAN ON THE MOON? I would like to speak to the manager."

Thanks Niel Armstrong.

How many cliched world piece/mean people suck bumper stickers are you gonna have to place on your car before you realize that the reason everyone around you is so angry is because you're doing 51 in the fast lane? Why don't you take your hippie mobile over to the far right lane and "coexist" with the Asians and the elderly!

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yes! I am weak.

Brandon said...

SPOT ON with the peace bumper stickers.

Anonymous said...

First of all, those sandals are hot. Unlike the black, old man socks you like to rock knee-high with some shorts? in 80 degree weather? I mean come on, WE PUT A FUCKING MAN ON THE MOON! Secondly, At least my wardrobe has a rotation. Forgive me. I suppose the hanes wifebeaters that intermittently interrupt your Kirkland white tees could be considered a rotation. But let's keep it real, you get more compliments on your work uniform...

Bam!

Kisses,
Anonymous

B-rad said...

Best comment ever?

Anonymous said...

Luke, you rarely disappoint. Well Done.

Anonymous said...

The bumper sticker call out is spot on!

Anonymous said...

First of all, those sandals are hot. Unlike the black, old man socks you like to rock knee-high with some shorts? in 80 degree weather? I mean come on, WE PUT A FUCKING MAN ON THE MOON! Secondly, At least my wardrobe has a rotation. Forgive me. I suppose the hanes wifebeaters that intermittently interrupt your Kirkland white tees could be considered a rotation. But let's keep it real, you get more compliments on your work uniform...

Bam!

Kisses,
Anonymous

Robo said...

Well, I think it's safe to say that one of our anonymous posters is none other than Luke's "significant other" Jackie!

Anonymous said...

Luke, you rarely disappoint. Well Done.

Susan said...

Leave the elderly alone!

luke said...

thanks robo and susan for not being cowards.

also who's "jackie"?

staci said...

when i see an asian woman driving badly, it always makes me feel like an asshole because of the stereotype. so now i yell out the window at them "don't perpetuate stereotypes!"