April 28, 2011

In the Buff with Adam

EDITORS NOTE: PWeekly is pleased to announce our newest feature - In the Buff with Adam. Adam comes to PWeekly from the Huffington Post, where he covered such controversial topics as, "Vodka Soda Mishaps: When Tonic is mistaken for Soda Water" and "Flush the Brown and Yellow: Dating Mishaps in Public Restrooms." His column will incorporate reviews and opinion pieces - fully exposing whatever issue he's dry humping that day.

If you haven’t got around to seeing O Pagador de Promessas over the last 49 years (I know you’ve been busy), I have one word of advice. Run, don’t walk, to your local cinema megaplex and SEE THIS FILM!!! Leonardo Villar (you know him from the Real House Wives of Atlanta) plays Zé do Burro, a landowner from Nordeste. Not hooked yet? His best friend is a donkey! Now who’s an ass? If you haven’t seen this masterpiece, that should be an easy question for you to answer.

I don’t want to ruin this for you, but the donkey gets AIDS. Zé meets a stripper that convinces him to blow all his cash on a new iPad and a Nigerian pyramid scheme. Dude loses his house and it gets taken over by a fragrant mob of “close-talkers” from the K Street mall and surprise! They totally effing trash the place. I won’t ruin the ending for you, but I will say that Zé may, or may not, get fatally shot in a meth deal gone wrong. It has everything you want in a film: love, loss, redemption, and a healthy dose of man-on-donkey bestiality.

I thought that Villar’s performance was vulnerable, yet intensely refreshing based on what I could gather from Wikipedia. I may not be a “movie reviewer.” Maybe I have never “read a book.” Perhaps I don’t “groom regularly” or “shower on a weekly basis.” But I know this. Donkeys make me feel tingly inside. And if there is one thing I have learned from Oprah, it’s that I shouldn’t have to apologize for who I am.


NorCalPol said...

My butt smells. Thank you for helping me accept myself.

Beth said...

I die! Hilarious.