March 21, 2011

tequila vs vodka

Tequila comes to party like the tattooed Raider fan it is. There’s no getting around it. It doesn’t try to hide it. If you’re drinking tequila, you’re going to have a really great time and then get really really wasted- probably puke, and maybe start a homoerotic back-alley brawl with chest pumping and shirts off. There’s no debating its intentions and it makes no apologies. Vodka on the other hand, is like a sneaky Russian spy, camouflaged in cranberry juice and tonic. It comes marketed as an “upper-class” sophisticated choice of alcohol. But if you look beyond the Smirnoff bottle, you'll find a leather jacket, fish net jersey, and a stolen car. Vodka leads to blackouts, projectile vomits in taxi cabs, and peeing on dining room floors. Don’t be fooled by the propaganda. I'll admit, tequila isn’t for everyone. I don’t always drink it. But when it’s a hot day on the Chevy’s patio, nothing sounds better than a pitcher of Margaritas, and not just because that's the only edible thing on their menu.

Tequila often gets knocked for its lack of versatility, and, to an extent, vodka is the more “versatile” alcohol choice. But, lets not forget the many varieties of margaritas that exist – strawberry, mango, banana... You also have Tequila sunrises which are bomb as hell. Ever try taking a shot of Vodka? If not, you could also try a shot of lighter fluid, bleach, or embalming fluid, because it's the same shit.

Plain and simple, Mexicans are better than Russians. They both are going to steal your car, but tequila just smashes the window and drives away. Vodka delivers your pizza, cases your house for months, and waits until all your “work clothes” are piled in your back seat.

7 comments:

Beth L. said...

Skip em both - Go straight for the rum!

Steve said...

Two posts in one day?
Oh you fancy!

Christopher Fryer said...

I'm with Beth.

PWeekly said...

I like it @Beth and @Christopher!

Anonymous said...

Hilarious!

Christine said...

Soooo...vodka shots next time I'm in town?

Anonymous said...

Let's DO this!