Facial hair (or lack thereof) says a lot about a person, but sometimes there's a difference between what you think you're saying with it, and what you're actually conveying to people. I've experimented with facial hair throughout my post-pubescent life, and trust me when I say few things are more frustrating then having your facial hair convey a mixed message. I grew my sideburns long and wide in a Jason Priestly tribute circa '97, so you can imagine my horror when a classmate called me Luke Perry.
Don't make the same mistake(s) I did.
What You Hope It Says About You: I have written, or am currently writing my third screenplay. I think deeply about dolphin poachers, sip coffee from ridiculously tiny espresso cups and sometimes I'll just sit and read. I like reading. It's something I do. Is your hipster vagene hot yet? Plus, despite what my swept emo bangs may suggest, I'm actually totally comfortable with my masculinity and even own a tool box.
What It Actually Says About You: In conversation, you are 100% likely to utter the phrase, "You should listen to this NPR podcast I downloaded." You pretend to like Woody Allen films, have a never-used sifter glass prominently displayed on your bar cart, and secretly pine for a Keanu Reeves career resurgence.
Most Commonly Seen On: the Unemployed/Homeless, Pyschos, Hipsters, PWeekly
What You Hope It Says About You: I'm a little bit country, and a little bit rock and roll. I'm all about taking care of business, but I also party hard. Whatever you want, I'm up for it - I'm down to eat out anywhere... That's named Applebee's.
What It Actually Says About You: I'm going to make a joke about shitting in your house, then actually take a humongous dump in your toilet. I can tell you who won the last NASCAR event and most likely I'll leave my socks on during intercourse. Also, I want you to look at my mouth, so I circled it with hair. And those sex socks.. Well they only come up to my ankles.
Most Commonly Seen On: Youth Group Ministers, Office Interns, Formerly Credible Movie Stars Now Appearing on CBS Procedurals (see Dennis Hopper).