August 26, 2010

lol: luke on life

Leave Dr. Laura alone!

If you aren't aware of "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" or the Millennium Trilogy hop on board, you can join the rest of us in enjoying how most of the characters in the stories are named after Ikea furniture.

Remember when every other commercial on TV was for 1-800-Collect? What the hell was that all about? I've only ever thought about making a collect call once in my life and the phone didn't even work in the particular cell that i was in.

I'm an ardent hater of spiders. They tease me and I cry. They must really enjoy it when I'm walking up to my apartment drunk at night and an errant web brushes my face. Suddenly I am flailing around like an epileptic ninja fighting a ghost. Why is that one web string always by my door? It's not even a full web. You can't catch shit with that. It is obviously there just to fuck with me.

Oh, did you mean Fung Shway? Cool spelling Japs. Is that not the proper nomenclature?

Did you notice that rape is not mentioned in any of the ten commandments? Consent by omission? Thanks for the go ahead nod Jesus.

"Hey, you mentioned rape in two lol's in a row. Is that gonna be a new theme?"
Well, I don't know. But i like rape.

I'm convinced I have at least seven friends who smoke enough cigarettes to be considered smokers but are seemingly unaware that not only do they sell ciggs at most stores but that it is also legal to purchase and posses them. Dicks.

By the way, I just got the wallet size dick pictures in from my latest photo shoot. Those of you still carrying around the '06 peen pics hit me up and I'll send you the new ones. They came out great.


Ally said...

Call me about the pics.

Sounds hot.

Bill said...


Rachel said...

Didn't martin luther king write the 10 commandments?

Luke said...

again with the racism rachel?

ally is a hot name. it reminds me of where i'd like to meet with you.

Anonymous said...


Luke said...

spot on anon, one of my favorite scenes ever.

Carly said...

My door is in direct view of my bed. Am I doing it right?

Luke said...

well done carly. that one took me a minute.