August 10, 2010

lol: luke on life

I like girls that wear Abercrombie and Fitch, I'd take you if I had one wish...

The percentage of music played on the radio that I'm willing to tolerate (opening song excluded)is rapidly depleting. Once it starts to equal the number of songs that actually make me mad when played I will know I have reached an age I never thought I'd get to - The age where everything is too loud, I can't watch the evening news without picking through a bowl of werthers originals, and there's always kleenex in center console of my car. Fuck me.

That being said, the keyboard solo in the middle of Hangin Tough is pretty dope. As is the ever present, but now underutilized, referee whistle.

Is it less disappointing to sit through a crappy movie then to watch with fervor a great movie that ends crappily? Really, he doesn't get the girl? What the fuck man? See Brothers and The Break Up et al.

I love it when counter sales people tell me they're out of something but follow it up with a cheerful, "But I can order it for you." I have the internet to dick. I came to the store because I wanted it now.

I also love when someone is the 100th caller on a radio station give away and get crazy excited for the movie tickets that they just won. Congrats, you just spent thirty minutes sitting at home collecting unemployment to win the equivalent of twenty dollars in tickets to a movie I downloaded last week.

The Democratic Republic of Congo has been deemed the rape capital of the world. I hope they build a sick ass statue to commemorate that shit. Fuck you triumphal arch! Incidentally, narcolepsy would be a hell of a thing to suffer from if you were an aspiring rapist.

Netflix subscribers have deemed this movie worthy of 1.8 stars but our best guess is that you would give it 4.3 stars and should probably rent it. So now I have bad judgment in movies netflix? Fuck you.

I met rachel in Kinshasa. I lost.

9 comments:

Susan said...

I don't know what is funnier - The column or those glasses.

Luke said...

its the condoms i didn't bring to kinshasa susan.

Matt said...

Buy an iPod.

Anonymous said...

Ahh internet piracy. Gotta love it!

Luke said...

whats an ipod gonna do matt? can i download rape?

nice condescending comment there anonymous.

Matt said...

"The percentage of music played on the radio that I'm willing to tolerate (opening song excluded)is rapidly depleting. Once it starts to equal the number of songs that actually make me mad when played I will know I have reached an age I never thought I'd get to - The age where everything is too loud..."

Rachel said...

thanks for the aids

Luke said...

aids are underrated.

Rachel said...

like your hairy balls.