June 14, 2010

lol: luke on life

Remember when the lengths of your road trips were tethered to how many people you invited were willing to throw down some "snaps on the petro"? It seems crazy long ago. All of a sudden you turn 30 and you find yourself calling your AARP rep to complain about the font size in their magazine being to small to read, and your knowledge of which adult diapers chafe the least is far too keen. Fuck.

According to a recent Zogby poll, 78% of anonymous internet commenter's are on Megan's List. Keep it classy guys.

You ever accidentally hit the Spanish button at the ATM and say, "Fuck it, I can handle this," because you're to lazy to cancel and re-enter your pin? No? Well now I've got four books of forever stamps and an overdraft charge to take care of on an account I wasn't supposed to withdraw from. If you need to mail anything holler. Gracias!

If you used to have a 'West Coast Choppers' anything, congratulations - you won.

Does anyone ever use the "she's a real peach," when describing someone in the non-pejorative sense? Don't be a peach.

I think it would be fun to move to Pakistan and drive a cab. Perhaps maybe I could move to Mexico and become a house cleaning nanny. Better yet, I could move to Oak Park and walk across the street knowingly impeding oncoming traffic's right of way and make absolutely zero effort to speed up. Even though everyone has to slow down for me. For no reason. Because I'm a dick. You know who you are.

Hey Canada, I see your Nickelback and I call; with Creed. I'll even raise you a Sugar Ray.

Do you think modeling vaginal manipulation instruments for gynecological trade magazines would make for a lucrative career move? Because this blogging don't pay shit.

9 comments:

Corey said...

I once withdrew 300 dollars from an ATM thinking I was taking out 20 because I was to lazy to change the language setting.

PWeekly said...

Muy malo Casey!

Luke said...

who's casey?

Anonymous said...

even I was wondering that and I dont even know who I am

Ken said...

Snaps on the petro?

No idea.

Luke said...

ken its gas money. see menace II society. or google it. you're on the internets now, no?

Anonymous said...

is that a tuxedo shirt?

Luke said...

yea. yes it is.

Ric Brown said...

super funny stuff, do you do stand up? You should.