February 5, 2010

garbage pail kids

Umm, how legit were Garbage Pail Kids? Crazy legit!
Garbage Pail Kids were all the rage when I big kicked it at Markofer Elementary School. The fact that I am only now 30 should tell you how vagine our society has become - No way kids now days could rock these cards.

I will say though, they are more butch then I remember. Abandoned Amy? She's throwing up into bottles and sending them into the water in the hopes that she'll be rescued? Are you shitting me?

What I didn't know was that there was an actual Garbage Pail Kids movie. Read this epic description of the films plot:

There's a kid who hangs around an antique shop. The shop is owned by a magician who keeps the Garbage Pail Kids in his store in a garbage pail. The kid is always getting chased and beaten up by these bullies. One of the bullies is actually named "Juice." THATS HIS REAL NAME! Anyways, this kid ends up falling for this marginally attractive girl with poodle-frizz hair who is sort of Juice's kept woman. The kid uses the Garbage Pail Kids to create clothes for this girl who's also a fashion designer. Then when the clothes take off she tries to swindle him out of his rights to the clothes. With the help of the Garbage Pail Kids and a motorcycle gang, the kid wins in the end.

Kept women with poodle frizz hair AND Garbage Pail Kids? Consider me busy this weekend.


Jess said...

The movie is total cheese - But I love it!

Nick said...

Sorry I was late to reading this! The movie was fantastic. I'm working off memory here so don't hold me to the details, but there are two highlights I remember.

First, there's the scene where Greaser Greg pulls out a switchblade and threatens to cut someone. That's solid.

And second, there is a jail-type place called the "home for the criminally ugly" and there are all these people locked up in jail cells that are labeled with the reason for why they are locked up. For example, there's a lady in a wheelchair whose sign reads "Too Crippled" and there's a caveman whose sign reads "Too Old."

Also, Sean Astin's little brother, Mackenzie, is the star. I'm not sure if this was before or after he hopped on the sinking Facts of Life ship during the seasons with Cloris Leachman and the novelty shop.

Anyhow, the point is that the Garbage Pail Kids Movie is awesome.

PWeekly said...

Umm... This is the most amazing reader comment ever.

Vicki said...

Nick just tapped into my repressed inner child.

Anonymous said...