January 20, 2010

lol: luke on life

Haiti owes a big thank you to that earthquake for putting them on top of our current "Who Just Got Fucked, I Feel Like I Should Give Them Money List." I'm just saying, their country has been poor, ravaged, and in doubtful stability for, um, ever? Are rape and murder even crimes there? It seems weird that it took a quake for us to take notice. It's not like they're that far away.

Why do people pepper their speech with the adverb "literally?" Just make the comment. I'll do the literal figurative math.

Don't you think there's a similarity in the asterisks most assume should be placed next to every stat of importance gained during the over harshly termed "steroid era of baseball," and the asterisks that you might argue could be placed next to every stat gained in what is now the "best golfer that ever lived not playing in his prime" era of the pga? Maybe it's apples and oranges - and tiger might not be a needle in your ass - but its gotta be a boost in your step and psyche to play without him on the course. Let's face it, golf is largely a head game.

Who are you people who chit chat with the 78 year old immigrant chicks who hand out the samples at Costco? You are blocking the aisle and she doesn't know how it is best prepared. She turns on a crock pot and hands out food in little Dixie cups while she waits to die.

On a serious tip, text "yele" to 501501 to aid wyclef jean's earthquake fund. It will make an automatic 5 dollar donation and add it to your cell phone bill.

PS: The curator of this site and I have a friend in Nigeria who also needs your help. We both already helped and were handsomely rewarded. Comment with your info and we will forward to our buddy Kipanga Click-Tock Iroagbulam.

Heart,

Luke

8 comments:

Kathy said...

I "literally" just LOL'd

Anonymous said...

The samples are the best part of Costco!

Anonymous said...

Hilarious.

Kevin said...

I think I have the same Nigerian friend! The world is so small.

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Anonymous said...

Get outta here guy!

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thanks

PWeekly said...

Easily the most random series of PWeekly Post comments I've ever seen.

Touche America!