October 14, 2009

lol: luke on life

It has been a while and my editor has been houndin me so, um..... Please excuse my dear aunt sally?

I always give my mom shit about drinking Diet Coke because it is so bad for people, especially for a woman who looks like a walking osteoporosis ad. She always responds: "It's better for you than all that vodka you drink." ( what a whore) I say that considering all the chemicals in that shit i bet they're a wash at best, and when was the last time some chick did naked jumping jacks on my bed cause she had to much soda?

I can probably list and give directions for every restaurant in mid-town, and at least half of the ones in the greater sacramento area. Except when I'm hungry and trying to think of a good place to quench what I'm craving. then i can't remember shit. I usually end up at taco bell.

You can become so pessimistic about America and her policies then watch 13 minutes of any Ken Burns film and think that we are the best people to ever happen to the world.

I can take off your mom's chastity belt with my teeth.

The synthesizer might be the single most recognizable sound of 80's pop music (the electric keyboard guitar is especially hot). Duran Duran rocked em hard! Sadly 2000's music will be known 25 years from now as the decade crap singers were introduced to autotune. Please make it stop.

I love that so many Americans are winning Nobel prizes. I also love the silly model hot news anchors trying to explain the process involved in their discovery. You can't comprehend it and neither can I. Just give me the names, country, and field they won in. If i'm interested i'll do my own futile research to figure it out.

Gotta go. I added to my match.com resume that my vag is quality tested and dick approved. Gettin a lotta responses. Hit me up....

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Deciding on a restaurant for dinner is the worst! Why is it always so hard?

Anonymous said...

because you are fat

PWeekly said...

LOL! Snap!

Anonymous said...

best comment ever

John Dahl said...

I've seen more people cracked out on soda than... Well, crack.

Anonymous said...

hahah man I LIVE for John Dahl observations!

Anonymous said...

who the f is john dahl?