April 10, 2009

lol: luke on life.

have you ever been reading a pulitzer prize winning book, found a typo, and thought smuggly to yourself "i'm way smarter than this guy."?

don't you hate it when you look in the mirror seconds before you're about to take off to paint the town red and you notice you have a gross a zit? you know you shouldn't f with it but you do. then you realize that trying to pop it accomplished nothing but making the zit mad. zits are like those spiders that you swing at and miss. now you just have to think about it for the rest of the night.

how annoying and self aggrandizing is it when authors use their first initials followed by their last name: c. s. lewis, e. b. white, t. s. elliot, e.j. dionne, and most despicable w. e. b. dubois. it feels like work to say the whole thing when referencing them. get a ghost writer, get an alias, or get over yourself. samuel clemens would agree.


now i lay me down to sleep i pray the lord my soul to keep....... yada yada yada. i used to say this prayer every night before bed. it helped me sleep. have you noticed how every time its recited in a movie the kid saying it gets kidnapped, molested, or killed in his before he wakes up. not cool. nothing sucks the romance out of a perfectly worded recollection of a night of bliss than the author saying "and then she went and got the strap on." its much classier to say "she was wearing a boner."
if i go to rite aid on sunday morning at 10 am and walk up to the counter with a big bottle of sun screen i feel like the clerk is thinking "man, i gotta work the rest of the day and this guys goin for some fun in the sun." but if i go to rite aid at 10 am and buy a big bottle of regular lotion i fell like the clerk is thinkin "its 10 am on a sunday. this guy has to jack off already?"

if you find a typo in this gfy.

10 comments:

PWeekly said...

puppies and moms love Luke.

Anonymous said...

Sun tan lotion smells bomb.

Vicki said...

R. L. Stine is a dick.

Matt said...

What about that douche R.E. Graswich?

yugo said...

...and P. weekly?

Luke said...

yeah P. maybe you should add your middle initial to sound more intelligenter

PWeekly said...

P.W. Eekly

Matt said...

I.P. Freely

Hil said...

Hey Luke let's go out clubbin! But first, pre party at AP's house with a 6 pack and we'll pick our faces.

Voy a punto en su pene y tomar una foto.

Luke said...

vamanos punta