February 24, 2009

f u february.

It is not yet spring, no matter how hard I try to ignore the rain. Instead, it is the dreary, wretched, soul-crushing post-winter Armageddon that only February knows how to bring. F U February! If it weren't for conversation hearts, I would boycott you entirely. February sneaks up on you, with its promises of long weekends and Valentine's Day sexy times. Then, without warning, February kicks you in the teeth, steals your lunch money, and sleeps with your girlfriend, just because it can. A little known fact: Every successful evil mastermind was a February baby. *

February pretends to be nice, but it's just a disguise. If February appears to be carrying promises of good things yet to come, don't believe it. It's just another bit in its clever bag of tricks, to break you down before March swoops in with basketball and spring breaks and some glimmer of hope. February is the Home Town Buffet of months. Except all it serves up are doody sandwiches with extra mayo. "You're screwed!" February cackles, "now eat my mass produced shit!"

Take aim against February and remind yourself there is a reason it is the shortest month. I won't be beaten by your dastardly ways February! In fact, when I get home, February, watch your back!

Because Kahlua + Schnapps + Cocoa = Heaven. Even in horrible, horrible February.
*Vicki is not an evil mastermind.

1 comment:

Eric said...

Valentines Day is gross.