February 11, 2009

eff wednesday.

Having five days in the week in college was a lot more fun than it is as an adult. Every night had a theme, a goal, something to look forward to. There was Monday, which - granted - was a problem. But it was followed by 40s night, Catholic drinking night, Thirsty Thursday, and Friday. And while I did not often partake in any (or all at once) of these things, there was an orderly joy in knowing that somewhere, many people WERE having a good time, simply because it was Tuesday. But now, all that has changed.

Which leads me to the point (such as it is) of this post: The week should end on Thursday.

Clearly, the powers that be in their infinite wisdom have failed to recognize that Friday is merely the day we spend waiting for 5 o'clock, Saturday, and things more fun than work. Thursday is relegated to the second-to-last-day position, slotted in behind the utterly unromantic "hump day." The effect of this three-day run of murr is a complete drop in productivity, which is unfair because if I were to pick a day of the week I like best, it would totally be Thursday.

Thursday is classy. Thursday has her shit together. Thursday doesn't wear tragic outfits and not realize it until she catches sight of herself in the office bathroom. Thursday gets her hair cut regularly and splurges on good shoes. Thursday is a catch.

It is so unfair that Thursday gets associated with her red-headed step-sister Wednesday ALL the time, simply because they are always forced to stand next to each other. Wednesday hopes that Thursday will rub off on her, but poor Thursday--it just works the other way around.

Thursday hasn't had a date in MONTHS because of stupid Wednesday. And Friday? She's on the other side, slutting it up in her "after six" outfit that she stripper changed into on the way to the bar. Friday kicks it with Marissa Tomei, gets her hair done, but it's totally a cheap weave, and really she thinks she looks younger than she does. I mean, yes, everyone wants to be Saturday, but quite frankly, Friday wants to be Heidi Klum and at some point you just have to accept your own limitations.

I have no idea what the hell I'm saying anymore.

Get me to the weekend. Stat.

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